Divorce can be really frustrating and emotionally taxing. But when you have kids, the stress becomes exponential. It may be difficult explaining to your child that you and your spouse can no longer live together. After all, kids just want their parents to get along. So what can you do to help your child cope with your divorce? The Texas Young Lawyer's Association has created "Kids in the Crossfire" to help parents understand the impact of divorce on your children.
Below are ten tips for divorcing parents from the Texas Young Lawyer's Association!!
1. Never criticize your former spouse in front of your children.Because children know they are "part mom" and "part dad," the criticism can batter the child's self-esteem.
2. Do not use your children as messengers between you and your former spouse. The less the children feel a part of the battle between their parents, the better.
3. Reassure your children that they are loved and the divorce is not their fault. Many children assume that they are to blame for their parents' hostility.
4. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Do everything within your power to accommodate the visitations.
5. At every step during your divorce, remind yourself that your children's interests are paramount, and act accordingly.
6. Your children may be tempted to act as your caretaker. Resist the temptation to let them. Let y our peers, adult family members, and mental health professionals be your counselors and sounding board. Let your children be children.
7. If you have a drinking or drug problem, get counseling right away. An impairment inhibits your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need at this difficult time.
8. If you are the non-custodial parent, pay your child support. The loss of income facing many children after divorce puts them at a financial disadvantage that has a pervasive effect on the rest of their lives.
9. If you are the custodial parent and you are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. It feeds into the child's sense of abandonment and further erodes his or her stability.
10. If at all possible, do not uproot your children. Stability in their residence and school life helps buffer children from the trauma of their parents' divorce
